http://bcir.com/learn-more/how-it-works.dot
Having an ostomy is nothing to be ashamed of. I've struggled with chronic intestinal illness throughout my entire life, and have undergone numerous tests, medications, and surgeries. I've had an ileostomy, I've have my colon removed, I've had my ostomy reversed, and now I have a continent ostomy, or a BCIR. I resisted the idea of having another ostomy, but my body just was not adjusting to having my small intestine attached to my rectum. My quality of life was decreasing, and as a college student, dealing with gastrointestinal inconvenience numerous times a day was wearing me out, both mentally and physically. I needed to try something else. After lots of research and conversations with my doctor, I made the decision to give the BCIR a try. My summer plans were thrown out the window as I traveled to California to undergo BCIR surgery. Very few surgeons are trained in BCIR surgery, which is the updated version of the controversial Koch Pouch. The surgeon I chose has been performing the BCIR procedure since 1989; I knew I was in excellent hands. My hospital stay after my surgery was two weeks. Recovery in the hospital was difficult to say the least; I had six tubes coming out my body, a few minor complications, and a lot of pain. My boyfriend stayed by my side the entire time and helped me so much. I am so thankful for him and his support, along with the support of my mom and one of my best friends who surprised me with a visit. After two weeks of tears, tubes, and triumphs, I was able to go home. I am currently recovering from my surgery with lots of rest and attempt at self care. The surgery recovery has certainly been more difficult than the rest, but I know that in time I will return to my normal self. Already, I can feel the difference in my body. Many of my previous symptoms have ceased, and I am adjusting to life as an ostomate again. Already, I love my BCIR. Unlike a conventional ileostomy, I do not have to wear an external appliance, or bag. I don't have to worry about leaks, and I'm no longer glued to the bathroom. It's only been three weeks, and I'm so relieved I decided to go through with this surgery. This surgery has given me a few revelations: 1. It's ok not to be strong all the time. I have always felt pressure to save face, to hide how I'm feeling and how I'm processing everything. I shouldn't have to hide my struggles. I don't have to pretend that everything is ok. 2. It's ok to cry. I've cried over the past three weeks more than I can ever remember. I've been allowing myself to experience my emotional responses. It's ok to cry from pain, it's ok to cry from being overwhelmed, it's ok to cry simply because you need to. Crying isn't a weakness. 3. Never take eating for granted. My love/hate relationship with food is more on the "hate" side. My GI system is recovering and struggle-bussing from all the new changes. Eating hurts right now, and it's frustrating. Confined to soft and liquid foods, all I really want is a sandwich. Please, never take a normal GI tract for granted. 4. Love makes things so much better. I'm so thankful and blessed for the support. Thank you to everyone to who texted me, called me, and stayed by my side through my illness. Feeling loved is the best feeling in the world, whether it's by family, friends, or the person you are in love with. It's incredibly healing, and I'm so happy that I don't have to this alone. My body has changed a lot in a short period of time, and I'm adjusting to these major changes. I dropped quite a bit of weight from my already slender frame, and it will take time to restore my weight. I have several new scars that adorn my belly. A scar from the gastrostomy tube I had in the hospital, a few scars from the drains that were sutured into my body, and a very long vertical incision that extends from above my belly button down to my pubic bone. My belly button is now an outie. My formerly toned stomach is now slightly obscured by scar tissues and scars. It is very hard mentally to deal with these changes, and I'm not going to pretend that I haven't had some negative thoughts. However, I'm trying to remember that our bodies are just vessels for our souls, and who we are on the inside is what matters. I'm slowly working towards loving my new body. Awareness about ostomies and bowel conditions needs to be spread! There is no reason to be ashamed of your struggles, even if they involve "embarrassing" or taboo parts of the body. Yes, I have a hole in my lower abdomen that I must drain with a catheter several times a day. Yes, I don't have a large intestine. Yes, I don't go to the bathroom like everyone else. And I'm still human, I still have value, and I still have a purpose The stigma surrounding chronic illness, bowel diseases, and ostomies needs to be erased. Through education and open dialogue, I believe we can work together to change the way society views invisible illness.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWelcome to Sickness and Society! I'm Jenna Lee, and I hope to work to create an open dialogue about chronic illness that leads to change about how society views illness. Archives
November 2017
Categories |